Wednesday, December 18, 2024

An Irish Goodbye

Ruth Moore  1928-2023

Update: Ruth Moore’s memorial service will be held at Lincoln City Seventh Day Adventist Church 2335 NE 22, Lincoln City at 3pm Saturday, June 17.  The memorial service will be available on facebook Livestream 

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From Ruth’s son Cary Moore:

The Queen of Lincoln City and her Irish Goodbye


…Irish Goodbyes are the opposite of Irish welcomes. They are fast, quick and final. One moment you’re there, the next moment you’re in a speeding taxi.
So you see, Irish Goodbyes aren’t rude at all. They exist to spare you the anguish of separation. They’re actually deeply considerate. They’re also deeply practical. You just have to be Irish to understand how.” Cahir O’Doherty, Irishcentral.com


I have never met anyone like Ruth Moore and she happened to be my mom.

What was most striking to me at the end of her life was how thoroughly disinterested she was about her imminent death.

It was, as it turned out, her “Irish Goodbye.”

She was having trouble breathing on Tuesday morning when she finally agreed we (my wife Linda and I) needed to get her to the Emergency Room (ER).

As we made our way to the Newport ER I kept asking, “Hey mom, are you ok?” And each time she would say “Yes, I just need a little air.”

As we traveled south through Lincoln City she looked out the window of the car and said,

“Wow! Hilltop’s (restaurant) is busy.”

“Wow! Hilltop’s busy?” I thought, “She can hardly breathe and this is what’s on her mind?”

The answer was yes. And that was the beginning of her “Irish goodbye.”
Ruth was concerned about the business of life and living, not the unpleasantness of saying goodbye.

She enjoyed business and her gift shops. But what made her happiest were the thousands of people that she met and loved on over the years

Her gift shop was her home and there she was Queen. And that is why we called her the “Queen of Lincoln City”.

Upon arrival at the hospital the amazing staff began to hover about her. Her shortness of breath became more intense and the episodes became more frequent. The nurses and doctor moved quickly with purpose and urgency.

Soon the diagnosis was blood clots in her lungs and she did not have long to live.

Between the moments of fear and frustration about not being able to breathe, her attention turned elsewhere. Of one nurse she asked, “Where are you from”? Of another she commented “I like the streaks of color in your hair.” and they chatted a bit about little things like that that make life fun.

After her final struggle for air had subsided she turned to Linda and said, “Linda, you’ve lost weight.”

And in a moment Ruth was gone.

This was her Irish Goodbye; quick and to the point.

To the very end she enjoyed life and the living of it and when it was over, she decided how and when she would leave; whether we were ready for her to go or not. And we were not.

But she was, so she left the party.

Cary Moore
Cary Moore
Cary is co owner of Lincoln City Homepage and is a graduate of Pepperdine University

7 COMMENTS

  1. Ruth was an amazing lady as we all could see working in her 90’s keeping a business going! She had the gift of determination and hospitality and family support. She truly left her footprint on Lincoln City and the hearts of those she knew.

  2. Cary, this was perfect. Aunt Ruth and Uncle George loved their life together, and they saw the beauty of every person that they encountered.

  3. Ruth was kind and interested in people, sharp as a tact and quick to smile. She had smile and good memory.

  4. Ruth was a woman ahead of her time. She was independent, devoted, her own woman.
    She was married to the pastor, ” but not a preachers wife!”

  5. 2015 I started out as a prep cook for Grandma Ruth, not knowing that the bond in which Mr. Cary Moore went out of their way to help someone that was welling to help themselves as well as putting other’s in front of themselves. One day out of the blue Ms. Ruth asks me could you cook me a burger , than went to cheese burger , than I put my lil cooking skills to the limits . Whatever I put in front of Ms Ruth , her eyes would pop in excitement. Grandma Ruth and I would sit in chat from time to time have our laughs . Shared old times growing up iny times. Ms Ruth didn’t know I was a Italian chef by trade. Pasta dishes was next on the menu .
    Yes I would say I enjoy Ms Ruth’s company. One of my fav’z . Lil Sambo’s. Was a great place to have worked at. I got to be involved with the Moore’s Family in how I would call of my own . Thank you for the times of conversations in laughs . My heart goes out to you Cary. Prayer’s & Blessings. Thank You Grandma Ruth

  6. We should all be so lucky to exit on such terms…after a life well lived. A well crafted story and fitting tribute to your Mom.

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