With visible frustration the Lincoln City City Council was forced to agree with Budget Committee recommendations to limit city expenditures.

According to their press release, “Because we are going to spend several million dollars to build two new restrooms at the D River Wayside we must make drastic cuts. One of the cuts will be to our Finders Keepers program. Effective immediately we will no longer purchase hand blown glass floats for placement throughout our beaches. Instead we will replace the floats with used bowling balls from Muggly’s Bowling in Toledo.”

A brief survey of beachcombers found that many weren’t bothered by the change, “Hey, if it keeps the kids quiet I don’t care what they put out!” said one man who was chasing his wife and kids around piles of driftwood while lugging lawn furniture, a cooler and a wagon filled with beach toys.

Though not definite, there is talk about changing the makeup of the Float Fairies-those happy volunteers that carry and drop the glass floats across the beaches of Lincoln City. “We might need to get some bigger volunteers.” said one Explore Lincoln City employee who spoke on condition of anonymity. “But I’ll tell you this,” she whispered, “If I have to haul them around, those balls aren’t going to be placed more than 2 feet from the steps.” 

There was also speculation that if the new orbs become popular the city might also begin purchasing and hiding on the beaches used softballs, baseballs and soccer balls from Taft High.

In further news, the city council approved changes to the city’s “welcome” signs. These are the signs that say “Welcome” or “Thanks for visiting.” 

“We wanted to make sure that our signage truly reflected Lincoln City’s character” said one council member, “After much debate, and hiring a $350,000 consulting firm this is what we came up with.”

At the bottom of each “Welcome” sign we will include a new sign that reads “Do you want fries with that?” and below each “Thanks for visiting!” sign we will add another that reads,

“Sorry about what happened to your car.”