In a stunning moment at the end of a typically boring Lincoln City City Council meeting, Margie Perry, a city employed “Float Fairy,” disclosed that she has learned that the majority of floats created in 2024 and 2025 for the hugely popular “Finders Keepers” glass float give away were in fact made in a glass factory where dairy products may have come in contact with the orbs.

“I was just taking off my gossamer wings and hip waders while I was talking by phone with Bill Bulb who creates many of our floats at Bill’s Big Bulbs in Bandon. Bill kind of whispered to me “We may have a problem. I think some milk may have been spilled on the floats. Maybe some cheese touched them too. I don’t know, it was a crazy party.”

A stunned council, barely able to process the information, begged the City Attorney for guidance.

After calling for a short recess while the attorney sought legal precedence on the matter, council returned to hear the city attorney announce his resignation and say, “You’re on your own.”

Council then voted to spend 150 thousand dollars to hire a Dairy Contaminant Consultant (DCC) to help them figure out what to do.

In the meantime, if you have found a float in either 2024 or 2025 you may bring it by the Lincoln City Homepage offices where it will be exchanged for a marble or something.