Greetings Homepage readers!
Well, Easter is behind us and an eclipse is in front of us. Some folks see eclipses as portents of doom. Others see visions of Heavenly intervention. I guess it depends on which side of the spiritual coin you choose. Either way, an eclipse is pretty cool. I like them because they make me pause for a moment and appreciate just how very small I am in the big scheme of things. And they mess with my chicken’s brains. Which is always funny.
Speaking of fools-April Fools day came and went without much damage to my ego. No one pulled “a good one” on me this year (all of my friends have become way too polite.)
The grandchildren haven’t quite grasped the concept of the day and it was difficult to explain to them why I kept telling them that their shoes were untied and then breaking out in laughter when they looked at them (none of which have laces- only hook and loop straps). Getting old isn’t for the meek folks.
Homepage, for the first time, dipped its journalistic big toe into the prank headline pool by offering a story with a twist on the popular “Finders Keepers” glass float promotion held in Lincoln City. Homepage offered free driftwood to any that could find it on the beaches. We titled the promotion “You Find ‘Em, you Keep ‘Em.” Some amusement was expressed.
In local news, vandals destroyed the protective netting that surrounds the outfield of K1 at Kirtsis park ball diamond. Park employees reported the crime to police who immediate called for a dragnet around the park. But, as it was pointed out to the officer in charge, the only available net had been cut and was full of holes.
What would motivate someone to gather the tools needed to cut a heavy duty net, cut the net (have you ever tried to cut netting? it takes forever!) and then try to secretly leave the area dragging 100 feet of nylon netting behind themselves. The mind boggles.
I, of course, have my theories about this crime which I forwarded to the local constabulary. Could the perpetrator be a renegade gill netter? He would of course need to be working off of a very small boat. I suggested keeping an eye out at the D River for anyone trying to catch migrating salmon in front of Kyllo’s.
Another theory that comes to mind is that someone from the Portland Trailblazers organization was seeking larger net making material to increase the size of their basket as they seem unable to hit the small ones currently in use.
Lastly I believe that the netting was destined for the landscaping black market. With the never ending proliferation of fake pier decorations in nearly every single front yard on the entire Oregon coast it’s clear someone was looking to move hot nets.
It’s got to be easy to find buyers of stolen marine décor. They all want the same look: three poles bound together by mooring rope with a fake seagull jammed atop and then garishly wrapped in netting. Mmmm, I can almost smell the ocean. Clearly, this should provide the detectives of the Lincoln City Landscape Crimes Squad with enough circumstantial evidence to begin arresting every home and business owner that has these things in their yards. Crime doesn’t pay and it usually lacks good taste.
County wide, the biggest news was the changing of camping rules at Moonshine Park. With a name like “Moonshine Park” you have to know it didn’t have many rules to begin with.
Response on the Lincoln City Homepage Community Facebook page was interesting. There were very few comments but many, many “shares.” Shares are like whispers between folks that would prefer to not have their stills found.
Statewide, Oregon’s governor signed HB4002 into law. The bill recriminalizes possession of “hard” drugs. And while there is nothing really funny about people’s lives being destroyed by drug use, it is amusing to think that a majority of Oregonian voters thought it was a good idea to allow drug addicts to possess and use drugs without consequence and that there would be no societal ramifications from it. Well, as it was said in the movie Forest Gump; “Stupid is as stupid does.”
Looking forward to a mighty fine week. I hope you are too.
